The fact that puppies exist, alone is proof enough that there is a God and that He loves me.

“But, I will say this…” because it means they are about to be completely honest with you. Good or bad, I appreciate it.

Paper finished! Writing an epic 6 page research paper in one day feels like exhausted accomplishment. I’m happy with it and now I can sleep.  

I’ve spent the last 7 months on this strange hiatus from my painting. I took little to no interest in it, my motivation and focus was dwindled…I kinda thought I’d stop caring. I reached a mental/creative brick wall, the kind where I was only building “skill” but not “growing” as an artist. So, I placed it all on shelf.  

But I can feel myself being drawn back to it…it is stirring my heart. I’m remembering just how much I love to paint.     

for some stupid reason I always work on the computer at the kitchen table even though I have a perfectly good desk in my room.

…sometimes I like to think about all the different days lived out around the world. For some ordinary and others extraordinary. For someone today was a surprise…something completely wild and unexpected came along, something they couldn’t have dreamed up or even wished for themselves. For someone  March 11, 2012 was a day which they will never forget and always treasure because they met someone or  were completely over taken by a happy event.  This was a day they will remember as the kind of perfection that is a privilege of life, that can’t be planned for or anticipated but cherished like a gift.  For these people I rejoice. For someone else this was a day that swept them off their feet my some unfathomable sorrow that has come and passed with a blow that they may never completely recover from. For them this is a date that will darken their hearts and wish away. For these people, my heart goes out and perhaps by just the thought I can morn a little along with them.            

But for me this was an ordinary day.        

Black coffee and Lucky Charms.  

I find it rather hilarious that I love fashion and clothes as much as I do but spend 99% of my life wearing khaki and polo shirts…oh, the life of a barista.   

Life is a never ending question mark…whether it be, say, the weather or travel plans, what to make for dinner or what to wear to work, we live and revolve  around question marks and management of them. Why is it that we as humans  are addicted to cliff hangers; the thrill of waiting and wondering, the heart ache of the over analyzing…the anticipation of answers? We read (certain) books only to make it to the next chapter, we watch TV shows for an hour every week only lean back from the edge of our seats and await the next installment. We make plans, defying Murphy and his law while always still allowing for a worse case scenario in the back of our minds. I wake up every morning with a lightly sketched plan of the day ahead in my mind; I collect my thoughts for a moment, double checking and remembering every detail of what I wish to accomplish and proceed according to plan. But there is always the inkling in the back of my mind, the hope that something will jump out and surprise me and take me totally off guard. It is curious to me that while I love planning and structure that I am also completely enamored with the unknown. I love running into an old friend at the grocery store I love the fact that in all my planning and thinking I had never even thought of them or counted them into my day. I love the idea of a “Sunday drive” of going for the sake of going and twisting and turning without reason.  

And while I love the unexpected pleasures, I also fear the unexpected sorrow. Those days when something has so shaken you that you wonder at the fact that you woke up that morning oblivious to this unforeseen blow that has dashed you to pieces and long for the yesterday when everything was just as it should be. God has placed us all in the middle of our own adventures, we never know what to expect or prepare ourselves for, we plan each day “with a grain of salt” scheduling the expected, anticipating the unexpected. God has given us a perspective of the world in which we understand very little, past, present or future but are left to wonder and search for answers…not to leave to fate what we cannot control but to seek His stability and guidance as we take everything a step at a time. My life has very little direction at the moment…but I love the question of it all.